naivete

I was young and naive
it took me a long time to find me
tahts me without him, him and her
cause i realize im all i need
thinkin of how i never wanted to let go
thinkin of how i always let my feelings show
wore my heart on my sleeve
the pain i felt you wouldnt believe
see that was the problem
i let you in, in places i had only been
took my love for granted
until i could no longer stand it
time for me to get away
since your heart had since strayed
but its not just you its him too
hes tellin me all his fears, says he cud be wit me for years
but it aint really true, cause im too good for you
so good that you gotta pass cause your afraid
afraid it’ll actually last afraid im not like ya last
afraid cause u u know im down for it
so u pass my by, throw in ya towel
cause u dont want to waste time
to u its about lust, god forbid you find someone u cud trust
i cant just blame u, some of it was me
showing u sides of me when you could barely see
but at the end of the day icant help being me
its my fault for not walkin away
and ur less of a man for lettin me stay
i thought my past made me weak
but it has only made me think
think of me and just me, and all i want to be
my feelings are more important
than that hug and that kiss
that he uses to dismiss all the bullshit he kicked
im not sorry cause i might be that chic
that u cud see ur self settlin down wit
im sorry u were scared and a lil unprepared
maybe it wasnt the time or the plae
but u never saw the look on my face
when u put me in my place
my role became clear
the end of the cycle was near
you know i forgive him
but most importantly i forgive me
for all the times i ignored the signs
took things out of context
let u look at me as just an object
miscalculated ur worth
based on my need for u to want me
but thats no longer me
there is lil animosity
i wish u the best and all the rest
you were just doin what u do
so who am i to interupt u
you see my past shapes my future
but i hope it doesnt hinder
im smarter more prepared but
i dont want to be too cautious
too scared just prepared
i wanna fall again and again
just this time ill know how to pick myself up
suck it up and know who i can trust
cause more than you him and her is me..
im the one who knows what kind of life i want to lead

changing it all

If I could change it all i wouldnt

cause id rather love than not know

not know how he feels inside of me

how it feels to know he’s eyein me

how it feels to when my lips graze his own

or when the moisture on my skin blends with the mostness of his lips

the way his words make me smile

words of endearment always make me smile

they make me tingle deep within

feeling a way ive never felt

long term feelings in a short term engagement

i dont know its funny how life changes

throwing caution to the wind

to get my chance to dance in a world of sin

oh how it feels so good

wit his arms wrapped around

levels of chemistry that astound me

our coexistance confuses me

but im okay with not knowing

as long as the feelings are showing

they tell me im too young to settle down

tellin me life has so much around

i cant put a limit on love

settin an age for my heart

what if i wait till then and it doesnt start?

i cant risk that chance..

ill never find him again..

or the love that we reap…

and the affection that we seek..

the silence that we speak..

says more than him or me..

an unverbal understanding..

although we may not really understand..

its all the same in this love game..

makin up the rules along the way..

wit each one is different

each person holds a new position..

and his position is within me…

cause he can make my life what i want it to be

one touch

one touch is all it takes 
 
sendin me spiraling down 
 
In my mind back to those thoughts 
 
That haunt my mind 
 
While your hand slips between my thighs 
 
My legs ease open 
 
The moisture starts flowing 
 
My mind starts goin 
 
Wondering how I got here 
 
As you whisper in my ear those words I hate to hear 
 
‘you sure you gonna let this go?’ 
 
Using your dick to sway my conscious thoughts 
 
My panties come off 
 
your voice gets husky 
 
I close my eyes 
 
Tryin to press rewind 
 
Before all the games 
 
Before all the sex 
 
Before the ‘baby what’s next?’ 
 
But your inbetween my legs 
 
Touchin my pussy so sweet 
 
Staring at me with intent 
 
Ignorant to my thoughts 
 
As your dick enters me slowly 
 
I grip your arms tightly 
 
Wondering if you know that 
 
Each stroke sends me deeper 
 
Deeper in my mind 
 
Deeper in my love 
 
For the man I cant replace 
 
My body responds just on time 
 
Getting wetter with each stroke 
 
My pussy muscles grabbing you and taking hold 
 
Of what should be mine 
 
As you say “only if it was the right time” 
 
I let you in my pulling my leg back 
 
Supporting your weight 
 
Grippin your back 
 
Caressing your skin 
 
Pullin you close 
 
With my mouth on your neck 
 
I start to get weak… 
 
I know I cant speak… 
 
The words would be too deep.. 
 
Too much for you to know 
 
Too much I don’t wanna show 
 
Its all a blur 
 
My no’s meaning yes and my yes meaning no 
 
Cause I don’t know how to let go 
 
Turning my head as a tear hits my cheek 
 
One by one, my love comes undone, shielding my face, wiping my tears, you say “baby why u cryin?’ shaking my head 
 
Because… 
 
Inside…. 
 
I’m tired of trying

Just something I read and appreciated on love

Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life. The first person is you; the second person is the one you love most, the third person is the one who love you most, and the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with. First in life, you will meet with the one whom you love most, and learn how love feels. You will learn how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you the most. When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person. The one you love most doesn’t love you. The one who loves you most is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with is never the one you love most or the one who loves you most. He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time. Which person are you in other people’s life? No person will purposely have a change of heart. At that point in time, when he loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn’t love you anymore,he really doesn’t love you anymore. When he loves you, he can’t pretend that he doesn’t. Same goes, when he loves you no longer, there’s no way he can pretend he loves you. When a person doesn’t love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself if you still love him. If it so happens that you don’t love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride. If you still love him, you should wish him happiness and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it. If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don’t love him, And if you don’t love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart? Love is not possessive. If you like the moon, you can’t just take it down and put it in your basin. But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points, and the bad. You can’t wish for him to become what you like him to be just because you love him. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him. You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test; if the relationship isn’t strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate. When two people are in love, they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don’t trust each other, they don’t trust their lover. These swears and promises are useless. Till the sky falls, till the ocean dries, my love for you will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall and that the ocean will never dry. And if it does happen, will we even be alive? Be careful when making promises; don’t make promises that you cannot keep.Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Remember, swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!