Postcard Worthy

This is one of my early attempts at Photoshop…. I think its pretty Postcard status what do you think? I think I need to copyright this ASAP. Once again, it speaks to my love of New York.  Well my ambivalent love.

Sean Bell- Injustice

Friday, April 25, 2008, the three police officers involved in the Sean Bell case were acquitted of all charges. I was immediately repulsed at the way such criminal cases involving the police are treated. Crimes against the police offer increased mandatory sentencing but crimes from the police towards civilians do not. I do know that the specifics of this particular case may have been unclear, particularly on what started the tension between both parties, but the amount of police force used was excessive. I think that is indeed undeniable, especially for one office that fired 31 shots, and had time to reload.

I know many are seeing this as a race issue as well as a power issue. Yes, two of the cops are Black, but one of those fired only 4 shots, and the other if I am not mistaken was supposedly undercover with alcohol in his system? I am not exactly sure. But either way, working for the police as a Black man is a tricky issue in and of itself. Often Black cops feel that they have to raise the bar with certain issues to prove their allegiance to the police system which often results in stiffer treatment of Black criminals or suspected criminals. In addition, if the victim’s were White I strongly don’t think that these cops would have gotten off regardless of the race of the cops who did the shooting. Although the case was very unclear in some ways, the cops weren’t even charged of being reckless. One bullet even hit the AirTran platform. Now if these charges aren’t criminal and we are blaming it on police training then maybe police training should be altered. My mother is a correction officer and an Air Force Reservist, I am aware that law enforcement officers are trained to shoot to kill. But in the same notion, I wonder if they are taught to use excessive force. It definitely takes my mind back to the Diallo case where the trial was moved to Albany and the cops were acquitted of all charges. Sean Bell’s trial was seen by a judge without a jury, which is something that should be definitely be mentioned.
It definitely presents an issue of whose lives we value. As a state we definitely value the lives of our law enforcement, especially cops but yet they are the lowest paid. I would like to say we value the lives of our citizens but in some realms we probably value the lives of our pets more. In the case of Michael Vick, and the illegal dog fighting ring, which included some deaths and malnutrition, he was given two years jail time. Some of the dogs were also given ‘rehab’ care afterwards. But in the case of human lives, since the police are involved, it isn’t criminal and they are only protecting themselves. I definitely think some things have to change. It sends a horrible message. Naturally, there will be a civil suit, but even that doesn’t overturn to what me seems like an injustice.

Dyed & Fried- Yaki Delight

Am I really the only one who is starting to truly despise hair weaves? Or better yet women who act like they cannot live without one. Boy these Korean beauty supply store owners are making money off of black people! Now I have rocked weaves in the past and yea I looked cute. But, they pull your edges out, they make you tap your head like a mad person. And I was not a habitual hair weave wearer. I switched it up from perm to braids to weave to whatever. But now I am natural, well I am locking my hair actually. I have friends whom hair I have never seen without a weave that I have known for several years. I have friends who cannot go outside without a wig or weave in their hair. I have a cousin who is locking her hair but wears a wig everyday because she doesnt want to experience the “ugly phase”. But my thing is oh, so one magical day your going to pull off your wig and you’ll have dreads down to your shoulder? All I can say is ‘loser.’ Black women embrace some of the same qualities we criticize men for desiring. A bit hypocritical to me. As a recent college grad maybe I will go open a beauty supply shop and watch the premium yaki fall off the shelves just as fast as hair dye and skin lightening creams…

tell me what you think.

Everybody isn’t meant to be a parent

One day I was going to the store and I saw a young woman with two children. One child was in a stroller and there was a little girl, about 4, standing next to her. The child asked for some chips, or some type of snack and whined a bit like any normal child would do. The saying “a kid in a candy shop” exists for a reason. The little girl was not being really bad or loud but her mother yanked the girls arm so hard and dragged her out of the store while muttering some type of expletive to the child. I could not believe my eyes. It was not as if she pulled the infamous tantrum and threw herself on the floor, kicking and screaming. She was calm, just the usual plea of a child who wants sugar. Another lady and myself simply looked at each other and then she said “some people simply are not meant to be parents” I am pro-choice by nature. But incidents like these make me wish there was more information and resources, not necessarily for abortion, but just about parenting in general, whether it was adoption info, abortion info, birth control info or parenting counseling. There needs to be more resources in inner-city communities to help young woman adapt to parenting or opt-out of parenting. Supposedly teenage pregnancies have dropped but the incidents of unprepared/faulty parenting have not. These are issues that need to be severely addressed.

How about you take MY last name?

I do not understand why taking the husbands name is such a big deal in marriage. I mean I have asked around and some guys are content with the wife keeping her name, some are content with her hyphenating it. But despite that most are very adamant about the children having the fathers last name, even those that don’t believe in marriage. So I think to myself, you don’t believe in marriage but yet you want your children to have your last name. Well i’ll be damned, if i’m not married to you the chances of our children having your last name have decreased dramatically. Secondly, the same person was like “she’s a female they already know they will lose their name.” Which is true somewhat, but I don’t know how much I agree with these automatic social constructions we build around “female” and “male” or “woman” and “man,” more importantly.

Like how can these people talk of tradition when they don’t live their lives traditionally? I mean I would better understand if they were more honest and acknowledged that it is a preference only. I feel like as a woman giving up your last name is a big deal. I’m sure some women are honored and more power to them, but I guess the point is, not everyone is. I may be honored to be your wife but am I honored for you to strip away a part of my identity. I don’t really know about all that. And, I think maybe having two last names for your children can be complicated when it comes time for paperwork, other than that it’s not. I think if I am truly the “other half” in a relationship I have every right to coin a last name for my children as my husbands, despite TRADITION… But that’s just how I feel… so I hope the future or current men in my life are ready to compromise, because I’m hyphenating, there is no debate about that. My children’s names aren’t as definite so we’ll see.

There is something troubling about this…

I think that there is definitely something troubling about calling the interbreeding of African bees with European honey bees as “africanizing”. Here’s the article

The terminology we use to describe things in my opinion really shows underlying biases, and feelings about issues. Now if these bees were from Brazil I would hardly think we’d call it “Brazilianizing” We may perhaps say Brazilian bees, but that would probably be the most as far as technical terms are concerned. What further confirmed my opinions about the underlying bias was the fact that these African bees are associated with overaggressive behavior, kind of the same way Black people are.

Although Africanized bees look like European honey bees, they tend to get irritated faster, respond with more firepower and stay mad longer than other bees, said Kirk Visscher, a professor at the University of California at Riverside, who has studied Africanized bees since 1985.

Their stings aren’t more powerful than other bees but they are more aggressive and swarm more often.

It’s kind of the concept that once you’re Black we have to contain you. Further in the article, they did note that all the existing hives have now been destroyed. I guess I am being a little extreme here. Although I am not denying the need or the seriousness of these bees I just think referring to them as Africanized is problematic. Am I alone on this one?

N***A

Initially, I was very adamant about preserving the rights for Black people to use the all too mystical word nigga. After watching episodes of Oprah confronting Ludacris, Terrence Howard and Don Cheadle, and having intellectual conversations with my aunt and grandmother my viewpoint began to slowly shift. Tracing the history of the n-word leads to the true disgust and demeaning definition of the word. Many have argued that by taking the word, spinning it and making it ours we are taking the power out of it, and now have control. This is indeed a large white lie.

This is the same justification that women use for calling each other bitches. Either way it is unacceptable. Simply put, if a White man calls a Black man the n-word there are all types of problems and repercussions. In the same manner, if a man calls a woman the b-word there are also repercussions, regardless of whether or not she tries to take control of it and identify herself as one. At the end of the day no woman wants to be called a bitch and no true identifying Black man wants to be called a nigga.

I feel that Black people as a collective group are under constant pressure to perform. They are often underestimated, and undermined. People tend to count Black people out before they even show up. With so many different and mostly negative public views of what it means to be Black, many Blacks in an ironic sense feel the need to live up to that. They feel that acting in what ever particular way is what it means to be Black. This is where many regain their false sense of Black pride or street credentials. Referring to each other by the n-word further materializes this issue. The n-word constitutes a whole bunch of dirty connotations. The word is still listed in some dictionaries with an actual definition other than a racial/ethnic slur. If men and women identify with these definitions it is a clear indication of how they view themselves and each other, which is troubling for the future.

The double-edged word aspect of this debate must end. Yes, in many ways I agree that White people have less of a right and it seems more offensive when the word is coming from them. But, I feel even more adamant that the change must start from within. We as Black people cannot point too many fingers at them for using a derogatory word that we continue to keep alive. I would like our sense of Black pride to lie outside and above and beyond referring to each other as niggas. Education has sadly become a dirty word in many of our Black communities. We must instill a sense of pride in true Black culture instead of our often negative, shameful, (dare I say ghetto?) ways.

Just something I read and appreciated on love

Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life. The first person is you; the second person is the one you love most, the third person is the one who love you most, and the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with. First in life, you will meet with the one whom you love most, and learn how love feels. You will learn how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you the most. When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person. The one you love most doesn’t love you. The one who loves you most is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with is never the one you love most or the one who loves you most. He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time. Which person are you in other people’s life? No person will purposely have a change of heart. At that point in time, when he loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn’t love you anymore,he really doesn’t love you anymore. When he loves you, he can’t pretend that he doesn’t. Same goes, when he loves you no longer, there’s no way he can pretend he loves you. When a person doesn’t love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself if you still love him. If it so happens that you don’t love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride. If you still love him, you should wish him happiness and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it. If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don’t love him, And if you don’t love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart? Love is not possessive. If you like the moon, you can’t just take it down and put it in your basin. But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points, and the bad. You can’t wish for him to become what you like him to be just because you love him. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him. You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test; if the relationship isn’t strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate. When two people are in love, they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don’t trust each other, they don’t trust their lover. These swears and promises are useless. Till the sky falls, till the ocean dries, my love for you will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall and that the ocean will never dry. And if it does happen, will we even be alive? Be careful when making promises; don’t make promises that you cannot keep.Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Remember, swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!

“Black people loving other Black people was and is a revolutionary act…”

I’m going to speak as if i’m an old soul recollecting the days of the Black empowerment movement. Because, Hill Harper’s The Conversation reminded me of something. It reminded me of a time when “Black people loving other Black people was a revolutionary act”… I’m wondering what happened to that state of mind, but I’m thinking I could make a few educated guesses.

As far as the Black familial unit, during slavery it was stripped and divided. It was women and children then there were the Black men. As if this seperation did not do enough damage to our individual and collective concepts of family, further enforcements post-slavery were made to keep this notion going. For example, at one point if Black women wanted to receive assistance for their families Black men were not allowed to be present in the household. Hence, the beginnings of the single-parent households (dare I say baby momma? …I shiver at the thought), reduction in marriage, and skewed* reliance on government assistance.

But then the Black empowerement movement surged on. (And, of course it also had its flaws, misogyny for one, but I’d argue it is on a different level than we have today) People stayed together because they knew that everyone else didn’t want to see them succeed. They stayed together for the benefit of their families, their children, each other, and lastly their community. Their ties to their communities were strong, and their support for one another spoke volumes. This can be seen throughout our history of sit-ins, parades, walks, community action, you name it. This was a time when people felt communal ties to their race and their community. They made it through a common struggle and understood the importance of sticking together.

It’s not hard to understand why the communication barriers are broken in so many areas of our community. We have the children of those single mothers being raised without fathers. They have no concept of what true fatherhood is. The females are raised to rely on no one emotionally or financially. While independence is good, if you are constantly being told that “no one has your back but you” or that “never rely on a man” there is a good chance you are going to grow up thinking that a man will never be able to provide for you, or that you will never be able to instill trust in him. And young men are growing up without father figures. Father’s who are only there sometimes, and sometimes never. A woman may be able to take care of the whole family, but she cannot father the whole family. So when the young women who wants to do it all herself, meets the young man whose only example of fatherhood/manhood is being inconsistent… no wonder the relationships don’t make it. Their lives are shaped and formed by history. Somewhere and somehow it needs to turn around.

Black pride is a completely different concept today than it was in the late 70s and 80s. Now we as a people often take pride in our negative stereotypes than in our beauty, versatility and power as a people. In the past, the movement was formed so that we could provide each for other and move as a united front. Two-parent households were very common! Now, the amount of single parent households coupled with Black male imprisonment rates, we are in a world of trouble. The reality is the solution starts at home. Black men and women need to take a more active role in the upbringing of their children. Instill faith in themselves, their community, and their people. Passing on years of hostility, judgement and falsehoods only perpetuates the cycle.

We look at Michelle & Barack Obama in awe. We look at their love and their relationship as something unattainable. I hope they become somewhat of a role model to our Black youth, but I know no one is perfect. Now don’t get me wrong I am aware of the flourishing Black middle class, but the reality is there is still a much bigger working and poor class struggling to keep it together financially and emotionally. It’s time to break down those walls and talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Remove those inhibitions, expectations and listen.
 

*Despite the ongoing stereotypes of the Black welfare queen, African American’s are NOT the largest group receiving welfare assistance.